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| Jewel going for a walk |
Bangladesh is a land of love and
poetry. Strong emotions run deep in their veins. It is hard not to notice this
in the people. Great happiness and sadness. Much love and hate. I see this in
the kids every day. There is pure joy in their smile when you give them
attention; deep sorrow when they know they did something wrong and are getting
punished; so much love in their hugs, notes, and goodnight kisses, and
frightening anger when they disagree in a game or someone did them wrong.
When teaching some of my students
will go through different emotions like me and a bag of candy, quickly. For
example, when I try to get Crissy to work on a math problem she will whine and
resist. I tell her something like, “You can do this. I know you can do this.”
She will laugh and start working, then she’ll be angery at me for making her
work. She a bit of a drama queen. Well, really they all are. Johnny will be
standing on his chair singing joyfully. I will tell him to sit down and work on
his math. He will with a pout. I tell him, “You know how to do this. Johnny, I
know you know.” He’ll laugh and smile then start working. Once I leave he is
yelling at me in an angry tone. “Teacher, I need help! You don’t teach me!” I
calmly walk back and show him he can do it. “God bless you teacher, God bless
you” he calmly states. What a rollercoaster of emotions. Such emotions can be
overwhelming.
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| Katie and I having fun with the boys |
If a Bengali gets angry, run to the
hills. It is a scary sight. Now that the rice fields are being harvested trucks
are constantly driving quickly by on the road right outside our back window.
They are hauling the rice and the topsoil. They even work through the night! It
has been hard to sleep. One day two trucks crashed into each other. The drivers
were in a heated yelling match. It was funny to watch from afar but to be down
on the road with them would be terrifying. We thought one of them was going to
kill the other. Frightening!
The kids love to take pictures with
my camera. Everywhere I go there are little voices asking, “Julie teacher,
camera?!” Friday Marc came up to me and asked for the camera. I said, “Sorry
Marc not today.” He threw a fit and ran into a nearby room. I could hear him
weeping hysterically. It was a big deal to him.
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| Nathan! |
Katie and I have started to read
bedtime stories to the class 4, 5, and 6 girls. We go to their room around 8pm,
they are all in their PJs, and we sit on a rug and read. It is a race for who
gets to sit next to, on, or diagonal to us. They all want to snuggle up to us.
It’s precious. After reading is goodnight hugs. Big hugs and kisses. This is
one of my favorite parts of being here. They are so sweet. They find ways to
burrow in your heart. One night I was sitting in a huddle of the older girls.
Tisha laid her head on my lap, took my hand and held it tight around her body.
She wanted me to be close. Then there is Nathan. What a cutie! They say he has
major A.D.D. but I think he might also have a learning disability. When that
boy is happy he can’t contain himself. He is up dancing, clapping his hand,
singing away. His laugh is so precious. I’ll admit he has stolen my heart.
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Caregiver with her boys. Abraham is
the boy in the bottom right corner. |
Is it better to have abundant
emotions than no emotion at all? Abraham came to the orphanage during my second
week here. I do not know what his story is, but it must be sad. At first he cried
but then he shut down and would just sit with a blank stare displaying no
emotion. It is heart breaking to watch him. One day two weeks ago I decided I
was going to make him smile. I went up to him sitting on the wall and started
playing with the little boys sitting next to him. Then I picked him up and
starting doing the same. I gave each boy a turn at my attention including
Abraham. He started to smirk. Yes! Keep going! I held him, dropped him, and
then caught him. After about three times he had a full on grin. I eventually
got him to giggle with the ridiculous noises I was making. That is one of my
greatest accomplishments here. He is starting to open up. This last week Katie
started playing with him but every time she leaves he cries. Of course it is
hard to see a child cry but I think it is good. He was showing how he felt. We
are slowly chipping away at the walls of the emotionless prison he put himself
in.
A lot of kids in America are taught
to hide their emotions. You need to be quiet, sit down, children are to be seen
and not heard. In general these kids are better behaved but at what cost? We
are taught to hold back our tears. One
of my friends in college said to me, “Showing emotion is showing you’re weak.”
I really hope he was joking but the more I interact with Americans, I see more
of that mentality. Showing your emotion doesn’t mean you are weak, it shows
that you are a living person. Emotions aren’t flaws we need to hide but
feelings we should embrace. Yes, we need to be careful with some emotions, like
anger, but every emotion brings a different flavor to being. Emotions are the
colors on the canvas of life. Bangladesh uses all the colors. K’ub shundohr,
very beautiful.
