First Field trip

Paharpur

November 30, we were supposed to leave at 7am but didn’t go until 8am. Typical Bangladesh time. Class 3 and 4 were going to Paharpur and the Children’s Park. They begged me to come with them. Even though I had a late night sleep over with class 6 girls, I decided to go. It should be fun going on my first field trip as a teacher. Ponwel, Shuborna, the class 3 teacher, Nicole and I were the adults going. In the bus I was crammed in the back surrounded by children. I didn’t mind. It was like every bus ride I had as a kid, loud singing, bouncing, laughing, sleeping and motion sickness. However, there were a lot more bumps due to the un-kept roads. This was most of the kids first time in a bus. Since the kids have rarely if ever ridden in vehicle motion sickness is a big problem. Before we left all the kids had to take medicine and were giving a vomiting bag. Cloe actually vomited. Poor girl.

Johnny's jumping picture

When we got to Paharpur we buddied up. Brianna and Johnny were my buddies. Everyone had to go to the bathroom but they were locked. We found the lady with the key, but she wanted us to pay to use it. After a bit of arguing Ponwel paid her and the kids went to the bathroom. These people will use anything to get money. Once everyone was finished we explored the ruins. Brianna ran off and buddied with someone else. So it was just me and Johnny. He wanted me to take a picture of him jumping. After about five tries I got a descent one. Then he wanted to take a picture of me jumping. Bless his heart for trying but he could never get all of me into the frame.

Johnny's jumping picture of me

We wandered around for a bit, then sat down to give the pathfinders a bible quiz. I was responsible for seeing who raised their hand first. Oh my, was that hard. They were all calling, “Julie teacher me! Me Julie teacher!” Most of the time I had no idea, so I just dispersed the callings and gave everyone a chance without the kids realizing. Haha! Sneaky Julie.

My buddy

As we were heading out, one of the owners recognized me from last Saturday and was asking about how my time here in Bangladesh was going. While I was talking to him Johnny gave me a strange look and slipped away. That was odd. Then I realized he was about to have a seizure. Oh, no! We tried to get him to snap out of it by holding up a leather shoe for him to smell, but it didn’t work. We got all the kids in the bus and had him sitting on the platform in the front next to the driver. Then he started to seize. Seeing that small body twitch uncontrollably was heart breaking. They decided to take him outside where it would be cooler. I heart ached to go with him but all the other adults were going and I needed to stay back and entertain the kids. So stood in the doorway as we sang songs and prayed for Johnny. His seizure lasted more than 30 minutes. He hadn’t even finished when they brought him back into the bus. We needed to move on. So I sat on the floor of the bus holding him. After ten minutes of holding him he fell asleep.

Marc and Brent making me
sick on the teacups

We ate lunch at the Children’s park, leaving Johnny in the bus to sleep. Then we toured around the park. There were interesting sculptures and painting all along the walkways. We first went to a section that reminded me of the Chico fair, but way more sketchy. There were swings and slides, two teacup spinning things, a Ferris wheel, a rocking Vikings boat, swinging chairs, and two trains. The kids loved it! Of course I got sick on the teacups. Marc and Brent were spinning it way too fast. Then the kids got on the Ferris Wheel. The people running the Ferris Wheel would have been sued several times if we were in the U.S.. They loaded the kids on quickly and would send them off quickly without making sure they were all in and sitting down. I saw one girl fall off about five feet in the air. Luckily she didn’t hurt her self. Some of the kids, Marc and Cloe included, were scared on the Ferris Wheel. I would be too on that rickety thing. Next I advised we go on the train; that might be a little safer then the other rides. Boy that train was load and shaky, but the kids loved it. Nicole were discussing how the kids would react going to a theme park in the States. I think they would be terrified.

The sketchy Ferris Wheel

Then we wandered around some more. We came across a cage of deer. The deer were all spotted and very curious. The kids would hold out their hands through the cage and the deer would cautiously slink over to inspect what treats they hand to give. It was normally nothing but occasionally they had a leaf or orange peal. I also got to touch them. Next we went to what they called the zoo. We walked on a path along some paintings and sculpture of animals. The kids wanted a picture by each animal. I have so many pictures! Then we wandered around some more. Eventually it was lime to go. I was reluctant to go because I was still sick from the teacups and exhausted from the excitement of the day and the night before.

The spotted deer

Kids and penguins

When we got back to the bus Johnny was still asleep but as we climbed in the noise woke him up. I took him the back of the bus to sit with me. I had him drink some water and eat some food because he hadn’t eaten since breakfast. He looked exhausted. Poor guy. About half way back I asked him if he wanted to sleep. He looked at me with the saddest face and said, “cold” as he rubbed his arms. I got down my jacket and wrapped him in it. Five minutes later he was out. Then Brianna and Marc fell asleep on my right side and Rosie on my left. The trip wore them out. When we arrived on campus I carried Johnny up to his room. Sweet dreams Johnny.

Kids and elephan

Thankfulness

Shauti and her wonderful loaf of bread

Thanksgiving here was pretty much like any ordinary day. I went to school, taught some classes, helped some struggling students with long division (it turns out that they are struggling not only because they don’t know the times tables but they also have a hard time subtracting with regrouping, which you should learn in 2^nd grade. Oh my! What to do?), and played with the kids. However, Sauti did make us a big meal. Oh it was good! Kub moja! (very tasty) We had mashed potatoes, gluten, corn, stuffing, cooked veggies, fruit salad, sweet bread, apple pie and ice cream. It was a very traditional Thanksgiving dinner for vegetarians.

My diner plate

This time of year always directs me to pause, look at my life, and see all that God has given me. This year my eyes are open to new blessings. I am thankful for patient teachers who set a good foundation of learning and exciting, challenging teachers who expanded that knowledge. I am thankful for living and going to school in the United States. Here, in Bangladesh you can only go to school to be a pastor, secretary, teacher, or something in finances. In the states I could be a doctor, a physical therapist, an engineer, a writer... There are so many opportunities there. I guess I always took that for granted. I thought everyone could be whoever he or she wanted to be and do whatever he or she wanted to do. Sadly it is very difficult in some places, like Bangladesh.

My class drawing what they are thankful for

I am thankful for cleanliness. Back in the states when driving around sometimes I come across a sign $1000 for littering. I always thought that it was a little steep but now I see what a country looks like without this law, and it is pretty sad. Trash is piled up all along the streets and riversides. The waste management is none existent. Luckily at the orphanage they have a small dump where they put their trash and burn it.

I am thankful for a loving, supporting family. I have always been thankful for my family but I am thankful specifically that my family has raised me lovingly, knowing about the perfect love of Jesus. I am comforted by their everlasting love. I am also blessed to have parents that encourage me to experience an abundant life. They don’t hold me back or limit me; they help send me forward.

Sillies!!!

I am thankful for close friends. We lean on each other in times of struggle, laugh with each other in times of joy, cry with each other in times of grief, and celebrate in times of achievement. I embrace their individuality and how real they are with me. We are all different and it is beautiful.

Thanksgiving poster

I am thankful for health and mobility. Here there is a little girl, Sunity, who is wheel chair bound and her neck in broken. She doesn’t get to interact with the kids much because they are off playing their own running games. It is so sad to think of her locked away in her room with just her caregiver. She can’t function on her own. I try to give her special attention whenever I see her but she is easily forgotten. I have taken my independence for granted and realize what a blessing it is.

playing with the kids on Thanksgiving day

Specifically here, right now I am thankful for no bugs in my bed, good enough Internet to Skype my family, new friendships, a wonderful campus and staff, and the love of many little ones. All my loved ones wherever you are know that I love you and am thinking about you during this holiday season. You have blessed my life and I am truly thankful. I miss you and look forward to seeing you again. But for now, life is good here in Bangladesh.

Emotions

Jewel going for a walk

Bangladesh is a land of love and poetry. Strong emotions run deep in their veins. It is hard not to notice this in the people. Great happiness and sadness. Much love and hate. I see this in the kids every day. There is pure joy in their smile when you give them attention; deep sorrow when they know they did something wrong and are getting punished; so much love in their hugs, notes, and goodnight kisses, and frightening anger when they disagree in a game or someone did them wrong.

When teaching some of my students will go through different emotions like me and a bag of candy, quickly. For example, when I try to get Crissy to work on a math problem she will whine and resist. I tell her something like, “You can do this. I know you can do this.” She will laugh and start working, then she’ll be angery at me for making her work. She a bit of a drama queen. Well, really they all are. Johnny will be standing on his chair singing joyfully. I will tell him to sit down and work on his math. He will with a pout. I tell him, “You know how to do this. Johnny, I know you know.” He’ll laugh and smile then start working. Once I leave he is yelling at me in an angry tone. “Teacher, I need help! You don’t teach me!” I calmly walk back and show him he can do it. “God bless you teacher, God bless you” he calmly states. What a rollercoaster of emotions. Such emotions can be overwhelming.

Katie and I having fun with the boys

If a Bengali gets angry, run to the hills. It is a scary sight. Now that the rice fields are being harvested trucks are constantly driving quickly by on the road right outside our back window. They are hauling the rice and the topsoil. They even work through the night! It has been hard to sleep. One day two trucks crashed into each other. The drivers were in a heated yelling match. It was funny to watch from afar but to be down on the road with them would be terrifying. We thought one of them was going to kill the other. Frightening!

The kids love to take pictures with my camera. Everywhere I go there are little voices asking, “Julie teacher, camera?!” Friday Marc came up to me and asked for the camera. I said, “Sorry Marc not today.” He threw a fit and ran into a nearby room. I could hear him weeping hysterically. It was a big deal to him.

Nathan!

Katie and I have started to read bedtime stories to the class 4, 5, and 6 girls. We go to their room around 8pm, they are all in their PJs, and we sit on a rug and read. It is a race for who gets to sit next to, on, or diagonal to us. They all want to snuggle up to us. It’s precious. After reading is goodnight hugs. Big hugs and kisses. This is one of my favorite parts of being here. They are so sweet. They find ways to burrow in your heart. One night I was sitting in a huddle of the older girls. Tisha laid her head on my lap, took my hand and held it tight around her body. She wanted me to be close. Then there is Nathan. What a cutie! They say he has major A.D.D. but I think he might also have a learning disability. When that boy is happy he can’t contain himself. He is up dancing, clapping his hand, singing away. His laugh is so precious. I’ll admit he has stolen my heart.

Caregiver with her boys. Abraham is
the boy in the bottom right corner.

Is it better to have abundant emotions than no emotion at all? Abraham came to the orphanage during my second week here. I do not know what his story is, but it must be sad. At first he cried but then he shut down and would just sit with a blank stare displaying no emotion. It is heart breaking to watch him. One day two weeks ago I decided I was going to make him smile. I went up to him sitting on the wall and started playing with the little boys sitting next to him. Then I picked him up and starting doing the same. I gave each boy a turn at my attention including Abraham. He started to smirk. Yes! Keep going! I held him, dropped him, and then caught him. After about three times he had a full on grin. I eventually got him to giggle with the ridiculous noises I was making. That is one of my greatest accomplishments here. He is starting to open up. This last week Katie started playing with him but every time she leaves he cries. Of course it is hard to see a child cry but I think it is good. He was showing how he felt. We are slowly chipping away at the walls of the emotionless prison he put himself in.

          A lot of kids in America are taught to hide their emotions. You need to be quiet, sit down, children are to be seen and not heard. In general these kids are better behaved but at what cost? We are taught to hold back our tears.  One of my friends in college said to me, “Showing emotion is showing you’re weak.” I really hope he was joking but the more I interact with Americans, I see more of that mentality. Showing your emotion doesn’t mean you are weak, it shows that you are a living person. Emotions aren’t flaws we need to hide but feelings we should embrace. Yes, we need to be careful with some emotions, like anger, but every emotion brings a different flavor to being. Emotions are the colors on the canvas of life. Bangladesh uses all the colors. K’ub shundohr, very beautiful. 

Thoughts at 3:30am

11/14/14

            Well, I’m up, and not because I want to be. This last week a bug has been going around causing vomiting, diarrhea, slight fever, and headaches. I had it really bad on Wednesday and had to miss school. One of my students, Marc, came up to my room after school to see how I was doing. He asked me if I was ok. So I had him feel my hot forehead.

Then he said, “Teacher, I was not happy.”

            “Oh, why Marc?” I asked.

            He replied, “Because you were not there.”

Marc can be so sweet. Of course I would rather be in class than feel this way, even if school can be difficult at times.

I hate vomiting! It really is a reverse of nature. Food should always go in the same direction. If it doesn’t things start tasting acidic and no amount of water or brushing your teeth will clear that taste out of your esophagus. I have never seen myself vomit but I am sure it looks extremely unnatural. (Sorry for getting gross there, I really hate throwing up) Last week and the week before we had a pink eye epidemic. Every time I looked in the mirror I would find myself wishing I got it. I wanted a break from school, a chance to relax and catch up on some sleep. I never got pink eye but I got this. And I am not happy.

Thursday I felt a lot better and went back to school. Occasionally throughout the day my stomach would churn, but at least I had an appetite! I think I ate too much for dinner, because here I am, at what is now 4am, fighting the urge to hurl. And I really don’t want to go into the bathroom because there is a giant cockroach running around. I hope the Pepto-Bismol kicks in soon.

5am. I have braved the cockroach. Lost in a face off with the toilet. Now I will try to go back to bed even though my stomach is still churning. You'd think there would be nothing left to churn. Why couldn't it have been pink eye!